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Joke of the Day

"6 year old: Daddy, what if the plane goes down? Me: Don't worry, your mom is with us. She never goes down. 6 year old: What? Me: Want candy?"

"Does anyone else ever hear their alarm go off in the morning and immediately start rationalizing quitting your job?"

"What's the difference between Santa and a pimp ? Santa has just 3 Ho's..."

"Mexico should agree to pay for the wall then once it's built tell Trump he did a terrible job and refuse to pay up."

"What do you call a skeleton with blonde hair in a closet? Last year's winner of the blonde ""hide and go seek"" contest"

"Single bells, single bells,single all the way oh what fun it is to see couples fight all day hey!"

"Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're all dead."

"I like my women like I like my coffee Black and tastes like warm diarrhea."

"Did you hear about the surgeon that got sacked for having sex with his patients? It's a shame really. He was a damn good vet."

"Did you hear about the terrorist suicide bombers rave party? I heard they had a blast."