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Joke of the Day

"Im still waiting for a movie in which someone says ""buy me some time"" and the guy goes and buys him a clock"

"""We want people to wake up, but also want to kill themselves."" - Alarm Clock Sound Engineers"

"I have a work fetish I never come too late."

"Time travel I solved a complicated algorithm which could send us back in time, watch... I solved a complicated algorithm which could send us back in time..."

"""Why was the Amish girl excommunicated ? Too Mennonite."" - Hitchens"

"What did the Ukrainian Scientist receive after discovering the dangers of radiation? A Chernobel Prize."

"How do you dispose of a human body Wait this isn't Google"

"If you're American when you go into the toilet, and Asian when you come out, what are you on the toilet? European!"

"[Politics] Why can't Ben Carson help fix America's problems? He's a neurosurgeon, not a proctologist."

"not doing the peanut butter and the penis trick with the dog anymore. My son caught me and wants to know why my face is in the dog's crotch"