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Joke of the Day

"Im still waiting for a movie in which someone says ""buy me some time"" and the guy goes and buys him a clock"

"999 The devil's in the handstands."

"Every time I approach girls they inexplicably shoot away from me. Can't say definitively if I have the force but... The correlation is strong with this one."

"Bob the Builder sacked! The BBC have announced that Bob The Builder has been sacked.. They say they can no longer trust any children's Tv star who claims to be able to fix it!!"

"TIL that although Sting has been missing for a week... The Police still have no lead"

"I'm acutely dyslexic and often forget my route home. AMA! Sorry, wrong bus!"

"How to decide whether to get A Black PS4 or a White PS4! Well it's really quite simple! It's what you prefer! The Black PS4s run faster however the White PS4s have a better future!"

"DATING TIP: Hold the door for your date. Rip the door off its hinges. Use the door as a weapon to fight off other men. Establish dominance."

"I don't necessarily enjoy being the bad influence...but hey, somebody has to do it!"

"How does a black girl know she's pregnant? When she takes out her tampon, all of the cotton is picked."