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Joke of the Day

"What do you call it when guys find older women unusually attractive? The Stunning-Cougar Effect."

"Forgot that I made a cup of coffee... now mass immigration has caused it to go cold."

"I'm trying to make out with my gf tonight without sucess. Any activity subjection? Not movies."

"People are saying that sperm has terrific anti-wrinkle properties. But if that were true, with the amount of wanking I do, my bed would probably make itself."

"Who is the favourite communist leader of all the cats? Mao"

"Interesting how u totally lose track of ur age after 21. Nothing to look forward to until 31, when u can legally own a donkey in a bathtub."

"How do they make bras for octopi? With suction cups."

"You know, it's not the length of the vector that counts... it's how you apply the force."

"*Buying flowers* Sales girl: Would you like the receipt? Me: Sure! If they don't work, I'll be bringing them back."

"There are three kinds of people in New Zealand.. The racists, the big spiders, and the big racist spiders.."