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Joke of the Day

"Priest: Dying people are drawn toward a bright light. Do you know what that proves? Me: Dying people are moths?"

"The mailman gave me a letter from a child this morning. The grammar was bad. But the delivery was good."

"Always pay your taxes with a smile I tried, but the IRS still wanted cash."

"A wheel fell off the vegetable cart... A wheel fell off the vegetable cart. What do you need to fix it? Asparagus. (A spare, I guess)"

"If I don't charge my iPad at the beginning of the week I spend the whole time just trying to catch up to 100%."

"I phoned up the spiritual leader of Tibet, he sent me a large goat with a long neck... ...turns out I phoned dial-a-llama."

"Plastic bags biodegrade quicker than my mum getting to the point on the phone."

"After learning about hieroglyphics, it makes you realize that Egyptians invented the emoji."

"I passed my genetic engineering exam with flying koalas."

"A man asked his mother ""How will I ever find the right woman?"" She replied ""Forget finding the right woman, focus on being the right man."""