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Joke of the Day

"My mom said if I get ten thousand upvotes she will tuck me in Come on. She really wants a daughter."

"I thought my vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant... ...but apparently it just changes the color of the baby."

"If you ever feel lonely... just dim down the lights and put on a couple horror movies. After a while, you won't feel like you are alone anymore."

"The year is 2027 AD. I take a drag from my vitamin cigarette and transfer 17 Bitcoins to a 3D-printed babe-bot for a cyber HJ. Life is good."

"Knock knock. Who's there? Owls go. Owls go who?"

"What do Donald Trump and the milk in my fridge have in common? It better get thrown out by November 8 or else I'm going to get violently sick."

"I work in a call center and a customer told me this one. A lonely man puts in ad out in the paper looking for a wife. the next day he gets 100 responses all from men saying ""you can have mine"""

"Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip? To get to the same side."

"How do you enter a brothel in Westeros? Through the Hodor!"

"Did you know our brains are 75% fat? Thinking about putting mine on a diet."