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Joke of the Day

"Whats the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are about a buck and deer nuts are under a buck."

"""where did all ur money go?"" I'm either wearing it or i ate it"

"Hit a squirrel with my car on the way home from the grocery store. If I knew that was going to happen, I wouldn't have bought all this meat."

"[Cretaceous Period] T-REX: *eating pterodactyl, sad* I just wish it were meatier... DRUNK GUARDIAN ANGEL: A meteor? Tha's weird but ok 1 sec"

"I met this wonderful girl who thinks small penis isn't an obstacle for a good relationship. Now I just have to get used to that she has one."

"Why do single people take dating advice from other single people? That's like Stevie Wonder giving Ray Charles driving directions."

"What does Acetone and Hitler have in common? They're both Polish removers!"

"I'm sick and tired of people telling me to turn off lights to save the environment. I tried it once and I killed a cyclist."

"How does a scientist make a hormone? The same way I do: don't pay her!"

"How many Mexicans does it take to change a light bulb? Just Juan."