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Joke of the Day

"A woman runs into a panhandler on the street... Panhandler: ""Would you please spare me some change? I haven't eaten in three days.."" Woman: ""Well, you've gotta force yourself."""

"What is heavier -- 200 pounds of bricks or 200 pounds of feathers? 200 pounds of feathers. Because you also have to carry the weight of what you did to those poor birds."

"Lady: How old's your son? Me: He's 3. Lady: Wow, he has great hand eye coordination. Me: You should see him play Grand Theft Auto, he sucks"

"A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer..... ........ than the men who mention it."

"How do you call a black man flying a plane ? A pilot."

"What time does Sean Connery attend the Wimbeldon? tenish."

"A duck walks up to a prostitute.... And says, ""put it on my bill"""

"I once lived with a Canadian family for a year... They didn't want me to, but were too polite to ask me to leave!"

"Eastern Europe - 1989 ""If we leave the Soviet Union, we might have to get visas to visit Siberia and turnips will be more expensive"""

"What did the cat say to the banana? Banana. .. What did the cow say to the banana? Banana. .. What did the goat say to the banana? Baaah- nothing. Goats can't talk."