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Joke of the Day
"My friend was called fat today. I told him ""It'll be okay, just keep your chins up""."
Next Joke
"*go to shake hands with All-Knowing Oracle* *just stares at me* *realize he knows I didn't wash my hands after using the bathroom earlier*"
"Fucked a girl with one leg once... Should've used my dick ."
"What's the fastest way to become a general in the Rebel Alliance? Leia Princess!"
"WIFE: can you preheat the oven? ME: you mean heat it WIFE: not this again ME: it can't be heated before it's heated. don't give me that look"
"Why did Johnny teach the cockatoo to do a front flip? So he could say he flipped the bird. ^I'm^not^very^good^at^these"
"What did Adam say on the day before Christmas ? It's Christmas Eve !"
"If I had a dollar for every time a woman find me attractive... I'd have a dollar, thanks mom"
"What do you do with 100 peaches? You eat what you can, and you can, what you can't."
"Why doesn't anyone let Trump go fishing with them anymore? He always takes the bait..."