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Joke of the Day

"Duck Jokes What do you call a duck addicted to crack? A quack head. What is a ducks favorite snack? Quackers. Why couldn't the duck drive his car? His windshield was quacked."

"I hope that guy that ""wants to be a billionaire"" makes $999,999,999.00 and then gets hit by a bus"

"Patient: Doctor I think I swallowed a pillow. Doctor: How do you feel? Patient: A little down in the mouth."

"'I just call it like I see it...' -People giving their unsolicited opinion about their unsolicited opinions."

"A guest checked in and informed us that his plane had a ton of delays throughout the day. I replied ""well, at least it didn't disappear, eh?"""

"What do you call paddling down a river of skim milk? white water rafting."

"What do you call a white person on fire? A firecracker."

"I got my priest to stop hitting on me. I introduced him to my little brother."

"I may eat animals, but at least I wait until they're DEAD. Plants are ALIVE, vegans. You disgust me."

"I would shave my beard... but it's kind of grown on me."