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Joke of the Day

"The wife of a programmer tells him.. ""Honey, would you please go to the store and get us a watermelon for the barbeceu. If they have eggs get a dozen."" He came back with twelve watermelons."

"Bloom should not have punched Beiber ... After all, you punch a man, you slap a bitch."

"I hate when people people ask me what I'm doing in 5 years I mean like, come on guys I don't have 20/20 vision."

"Knock, knock...... Who's there? Do you have a moment to install Windows 10?"

"A nurse puts her hand in her pocket, finds a rectal thermometer and exclaims.... ""Some arsehole's got my pen!"""

"Why is Donald Trump like a Gibbering Mouther from DnD? Both are all mouth and no balls."

"How many lead guitarists does it take to change lightbulb? One. He just stands there with the lightbulb and the whole world revolves around him."

"Women's Darts The only time they'll see a 180 is when they're programming the oven."

"Brb taking my potted plant for a walk ""And that is tha sunshine, and this is another plant, you guys can't be friends he lives outside"""

"What does an octopus have ten of? Tickles..."