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Joke of the Day
"What's black & blue and hates sex? A nun wearing a Cubs hat."
Next Joke
"i didn't get your text because i'm lying"
"I slept with a girl the other day, she called me daddy. I guess I have a Freudian prick"
"Thinking about starting a line of realistic welcome mats with things like ""Please don't stay long!"" or ""I hope you brought booze."""
"I gave my friend an elephant. It was standing in his living room. He said, ""Thanks for the elephant"". I said, ""Don't mention it""."
"Atheists don't seem to recognize church is worth it for the bake sales alone. God, or no god, those are good Brownies."
"What's a big game hunter? Someone who's lost his way to the match."
"Dad keeps breaking into my phone, so I found a password he won't remember. My birthday."
"I've decided to teach postcolonial theory instead of seventeenth-century poetry. Because, you know, easier Said than Donne."
"It's a shock to me that people actually pay their student loans. That's a bill I gave to Jesus"