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Joke of the Day

"Abortions are like stains in my carpet. You don't want them to be seen, and you pay somebody to vacuum them out."

"Me: Did it hurt when you fell from Kevin? Friend: Yes, because Kevin's friggin tall and sucks at giving piggy back rides Kevin: bro"

"I heard /r/Jokes likes pizza jokes.. Nevermind, it's too cheesy."

"What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef What do you call a cow with 3 legs? Lean Beef What do you call a cow with 2 legs? Your mother"

"Two retarded people are having sex. I guess you could say they were going downs on each other."

"A guy walks into a Barr... and Roseanne's like, ""Hey! Watch where you're going!"""

"Dad says, ""College students are more interested in women today than ever before.."" A lot of them are in a program where they study a broad"

"Got any jokes which can be used every day? Like... When people say I'm cold, you can reply... Stand in the corner, it's 90 degrees. What other jokes can be thrown into every day life like that?"

"What's the most played song at Amish parties? Churn Down For What"

"A woman's legs are a lot like peanut butter It's much easier to get them to spread if you have a knife"