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Joke of the Day

"What did the Pie say when he failed a math test? ""How did I get these simple questions wrong! I am so irrational!"""

"nudist camp for intellectuals 2 people at a nudist camp for intellectuals, one says to the other ""have you read Marx?"" The 2nd say ""yes, because of these wicker chairs"""

"How many Amish guys does it take it satisfy an Amish whore? Two men-a-night!"

"In your will, be sure to write you want to be cremated. The night before you die, eat as many popcorn kernels as humanly possible."

"I call bullshit on vampires that look all sexy and shit when they can't even see their reflection"

"What did the hot dog say on the toilet? Mustuuurd"

"Out of curiosity, where were you all thinking of moving after you're done destroying the Earth? 'Cause I assume you've thought that through."

"Sometimes, when I'm in the bathroom.. ...My dog tries to lick my balls... so I close the door...because that way nobody can see us."

"Two blonds walk into a bar... ...you think one of them would have noticed"

"""I thought I was happy, but then you revved your engine so loudly and I realised YOU are what's been missing from my life"" - No girl, ever."