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Joke of the Day
"What did the hot dog say on the toilet? Mustuuurd"
Next Joke
"When grammar nazis correct me, I start to make errors on purpose to mess with them. You can say I'm passive, aggressive."
"Hey baby, are you a carrot? Because I want to chop you into little pieces."
"How do you make a dead baby float? two scoops of ice cream one scoop of dead baby root beer"
"How do you pronounce the capital of Kentucky, Loo-e-ville or Loo-is-ville? I pronounce it Frankfort."
"Michelle Obama should have dropped the mic and moonwalked out."
"A Medieval Escort I've been down on my luck, but today I was finally offered a job as a medieval escort. Unfortunately, it means I will have to work fucking knights."
"[One liner] How do you make an archaeolgist mad? Give him a bloody tampon and ask him what period its from."
"Blind dates are the best because they can't see me stealing all of the food from their plate"
"Spilled yogurt on my shirt and now I can't stop thinking of selling shirts made of yogurt. The Yoshirt. I taste potential. And mixed berry."