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Joke of the Day
"My grandma is 80 years old, and still doesn't need glasses... She drinks right out of the bottle."
Next Joke
"""Cool, I'll check 'em out!"" -my lie to any person recommending a band to me"
"Teacher: ""Your composition on the assignment ""My dog"" is exactly like your brothers... ...did you copy it?"" Boy: ""No, it's the same dog!"""
"Men taking pictures of their outfits on Instagram is why we will lose the next World War."
"What does Bruce Lee drink when he's thirsty? Wa-TAH!"
"The road to success is always under construction."
"What do you call a cow which can no longer produce milk? An udder failure."
"I'm wearing the boxers with the little hearts all over them tonight.... It's probably not a good night to go to jail...."
"I scream. You scream. We all scream. This fancy wine bars toilet gender signs were unclear."
"Nah mate, when the Americans talk about football they mean that silly game where the fat men dress up as Transformers"