226862

Joke of the Day

"what's going on with people who are mad at movies that last longer than 90 minutes but happily watch an entire season of TV in one day"

"Maybe It's You The debut album from the literal chorus of Taylor Swift exes. Available for download from iTunes soon."

"What is a sure way to pleasure 9 out of 10 people? Gang rape."

"You know what they say about a guy with tiny arms? He has tiny legs. (if you know what i mean)"

"While in prison, I asked the Calvinist, ""Why did you kill your family?"" He answered, ""I had to know."""

"If I was a magician I'd ask someone in the audience for a $20 bill and then just run away. You could prob make like $40 doing that."

"I'm socially constipated... I haven't given a shit in years"

"North Korean submarine accidentally destroys another North Korean submarine Woops, wrong sub"

"What do girls and snowflakes have in common? They can't drive cars."

"I heard that there was no plane be shot down in Constantinople Because there was no Turkey"