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Joke of the Day

"What do you call an Italian hooker? A pastatute!"

"When you think your life couldn't be any more pathetic, remember some people have more than 1 Facebook account."

"Pretty certain I'm gonna drop down on one knee and propose to the first woman I ever win an argument with..."

"Advent calendars Their days are numbered..."

"According to this grocery list I've written on my hand, I've invented a new language."

"AVENGERS ASSEMBLE! THOR: ""here"" IRON MAN: ""here"" HULK: ""here"" PHIL COLLINS - ""here"" ... ok Phil how do u keep getting into S.H.I.E.L.D man"

"Never using online dating again. Last guy said he lived in a gated community. Prison. He meant prison."

"All Women want is a Guy that makes them laugh- And from what I can tell, Rich guys are fucking hilarious"

"If Pulp Fiction has taught us anything it's that we're better off not knowing if there's more shit down in the basement of any pawn shop."

"What do you do when attacked by a group if clowns? Go for the juggler."