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Joke of the Day

"Sometimes I wonder if my wife ever heard me call her a dumb bitch. I think about it every day since she died from cancer. I never got to say it to her face."

"Q: What do you call a tree from Tulsa? A: An oakie."

"Knock...Knock... Who's there? Interrupting cat... Int(meow)err(meow)upt(meow)ing(meow)(meow)c(meow)at(meow)who? Meow..."

"Always been a favourite of mine. How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles."

"My X-ray technician told me she usually doesn't go on dates with her patients... ...but she saw something in me."

"ER Doc: you know you could have avoided these 3rd degree burns by walking away from the explosion at regular speed Me: did it look cool tho"

"In Heaven, the angels asked God where he would spend his next vacation. Definitely not earth, God said. Last time I went there, I got a girl pregnant and they still haven't stopped taking about it."

"Origami Belts They're a waist of paper"

"Cop: License and registration please. Me: Give me a second, I'm drunk. Cop: Sir, have you been drinking? Me: No."

"Did you know Stevie Wonder got a cheese grater for christmas? He said it was the best book he's ever read"