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Joke of the Day

"I knew early on my marriage was doomed. I'm a Virgo and she's a bitch..."

"What is it called when buckets of paint conspire with each other? A colour scheme."

"Jehovah's Witnesses are like testicles They come in pairs, one is always bigger than the other, they keep knocking on the door but never get in, and if they do, shits about to get freaky."

"What do you call a transvestite in Spanish? HERmano"

"When does a guy turn into a gay? When something's bent on top of U"

"9: How old was I when I was 3? me *grabs hammer* *smashes college fund jar*"

"What exactly had the ""NOW That's What I Call Music!"" guy been listening to before? Sound FX CDs? Whale noises?"

"What's the difference between you and a bucket of shit? The bucket."

"We could hit every terrorist on the Most Wanted List tomorrow, if we turned it over to Google's ad department."

"I like my girlfriend's new glow-in-the-dark braces... ...her smile really lights up the room now."