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Joke of the Day

"Please, keep trying unsuccessfully to suck the snot back up in your nose instead of using a tissue. Everyone loves the noise you're making."

"<-- Pops double collar and eats hamburger with a fork and knife"

"Q: Mrs. Bigger had a baby. Which one was bigger? A: The baby. It was a little Bigger."

"Jesus can walk on water. Babies are 89% water. I can walk on babies. I am... in jail."

"For tentative people there's no place like ""erm""."

"What do you call a frozen swine lavatory? A pigloo I'll see myself out."

"Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he."

"How much does a rock weigh? One stone."

"If all the Domino's employees in the world held hands, you'd have to make your own pizza."

"What does a pirate drink for breakfast? Arrrrange juice."