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Joke of the Day

"I was driving along the other day when suddenly a deer ran out. I have no idea how it got in my car in the first place."

"I wonder what its like to fart in zero gravity. Does it like...propel you forward? These are things I think people need to know, NASA."

"What should you do if you find an angry 500-pound dog in your kitchen? Eat out."

"Chatting of Computers What did one computer say to the other? 010101101010101010101"

"I wouldn't recommend eating German sausage... It's the wurst!"

"Just imagine if Usain Bolt was your father and you were trying to run away from a beating."

"Fatherhood Tip : If there's puke in your coat pocket and poop on your shoulder, you're holding the baby upside down."

"What kind of jeans does mario wear? [Denim denim denim.](http://youtu.be/rdnTvgK2o5I) ^^^^^^shamelessly ^^^^^^stolen ^^^^^^from ^^^^^^tumblr"

"Did you hear about the lady lawyer who went to her gynecologist? The gynecologist said, "" Let's use this device to spread your vagina."" The lawyer shouts, ""I object! Calls for speculation!"" I'll go..."

"The Chinese just announced their iPhone 5 ripoff... ...it's called the iPhoney."