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Joke of the Day

"Where do you touch a woman to give yourself the most pleasure? The back of her head."

"What do you get when you cross the Atlantic with the Titanic? Halfway."

"For me, getting girls is like spreading butter... It's much easier with a knife."

"I knew the guy who invented the clothes iron. Unfortunately, he died from being ironed on the face. I still remember the iron-y smell of his blood."

"What tea do hockey players drink? Penaltea!"

"How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? One, but the light bulb has to want to change."

"What has four hairy legs and sleeps with my sister? My father and I"

"So Trump wants to ban Muslims. But if prohibition has taught me anything it's that people will just make Muslims in their bathtubs."

"What device does Mario use to communicate with the dead? A Lou-ouija board."

"Why are manhole covers round? Because manholes are round."