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Joke of the Day

"No, PSA, buzzed driving isn't drunk driving. Buzzed driving gets me home 51 weekends a year, drunk driving gets me home w/a fat chick."

"What's green and eats nuts? Syphilis."

"An astronaut squirrel, a snail that meows, crab with a whale as a daughter. Dear creators of spongebob, pass the drugs."

"What do you call a Blonde doing a handstand? NSFW A Brunette with bad breath."

"Are you smarter than a 5th grader? Wait... Regular or Asian?"

"""Full bath?"" ""Yes sir"" ""Double beds?"" ""Yes sir"" ""Pool?"" ""Yes sir"" ""Maid service?"" ""Yes sir"" ""WIFI?"" ""Yes sir"" ""Kids, I found a campsite!"""

"Boxed wine: Because corkscrews are dangerous after the second bottle."

"My wife told me to stop singing Oasis And I said *maybe*...."

"Becoming a vegetarian Is a big missed steak"

"Did you hear about Apple's new product? It was a big 6s"