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Joke of the Day

"What does an onion and a prostitute have in common? They give you really bad breath when you eat them."

"What's the procrastinator's favorite song? ""Tooomorrow, tomorrow, I love yah, tomorrow.."" (You're always a day away)"

"Guys, I have to stop cyber-bullying North Korea. They called my mom."

"What do you call a frog that's in the mood? A HORNY TOAD!"

"HELP ME I'M CHOKING ON AN ICE CUBE nevermind I'm good."

"just a thought... if Jesus was born a Jew and his father is God, does that mean god is Jewish?"

"ME: I hate the Kentucky Derby. You get all dressed up and excited and the whole thing only lasts 15 seconds WIFE: Oh is that right"

"Don't do drugs Without me"

"[NSFW] What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball? Gagged"

"Someone called me racist for saying ""black paint"" Apparently the politically correct term is ""Tyrone, please paint the fence"""