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Joke of the Day

"I was born to be wild, but only until around 9:30"

"*at interview* Him: What would you say are your strengths? Me: Words Him: Can you say more? Me: More Him: Me: I'm also good at directions"

"You know why men die earlier than women? Because we WANT to!"

"Why is your wife annoying? Because she is always jalapeno business."

"Where does the general keep his armies? In his sleevies."

"Some sad news from Australia... the inventor of the boomerang grenade died today."

"Why couldn't we get precise kinetic data on the phosphine-catalyzed reaction? The reaction rate was too phos-phor-us"

"Why are people afraid to play poker in Africa? Too many Cheetahs."

"Why did the walrus go to the tupperware party? He was looking for a tight seal."

"You can't spell ""A.D.D."" without ""hey what is that is that some Go-Gurt"""