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Joke of the Day

"My foot wants to interact with your face. "

"No I don't have anything smaller than a twenty. You should. You're the one who's running a store."

"Diary June 28 1954 So it turns out my weakness is kryptonite. I can't tell anybody this. June 30 1954 I accidentally told Lex. Should be ok"

"I would never cheat in a relationship Because that would require two people to find me attractive."

"What's better than Roses on your Piano? Tulips on your Organ."

"Worst Joke Ever Two whales are sitting in a bar and one whale says ""eeeyyoooo eeeeyyy yyeeooo oooyyy ooeeeee"" and the other whale says ""Shut up Steve, you're drunk."""

"*sits perfectly still for a 12-hour portrait painting* ""Delete it."""

"God has no Phone, but I talk to him. He has no Facebook, but he is still my friend. He does not have a Twitter, but I still follow him."

"When Harry Potter ejaculates, it's HP sauce For those who don't know, [HP sauce](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/HP_Sauce) is a brown sauce sold in the UK."

"""We were trapped in the elevator and had to make a terrible decision"" Which was? ""We ate Bill"" OMG. How long were you in there? ""4 minutes"""