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Joke of the Day

"I asked when my gym membership was up and the dude said ""day before Valentine's Day"" like I'm some genius who knows when Valentine's Day is."

"I knew someone had added dirt to my garden. And so, the plot thickens"

"Q: How much does it cost for a pirate to get his ears pierced? A: A buck an ear."

"How do Mexicans cut their pizza? With Little Caesars!"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Briony ! Briony who ? Briony beautiful sea !"

"Parallel lines have so much in common... It's a shame they'll never meet"

"A blond goes to bed with a glass of water and an empty one. The latter is in case she wakes up not feeling thirsty."

"If your girlfriend bleeds the first time you have sex with her, tell her to get used to it. In a few years time, she'll bleed every month. ohhh shit. facial."

"Why does Waldo wear stripes? He didn't want to get spotted."

"Why couldn't the computer play golf?... ...Because it had the wrong Driver"