225172

Joke of the Day

"If I was a police sketch artist I would be like ""is this the guy?"" And they would be like ""nope that's a barn"" because I can only draw barns"

"I can count the number of times I've been to Chernobyl one one hand. It's zero, because I've never been to Chernobyl."

"I told my doctor I was having issues during sex. He said Cialis. Could someone tell me where I find Alice?"

"Is that a sweet potato in your pants, or are you just oddly shaped?"

"I got an STD from a hipster. My doctor said he's never heard of it."

"A better name for 'Abercrombie and Fitch' would be 'Abercrombie and White Trash Pre-Abortion Smelly Whore Store'"

"What are the advantages of living in Switzerland? Well the flag for one is a big plus. Badum tss."

"Dinner When my wife asks me ""What do you want to have for dinner"" I never guess right."

"Are you a magician?? Because you're making my penis levitate."

"What's the difference between a musician and a suicide bomber? A musician wears his heart on his sleeve. A suicide bomber wears his spleen on your shoes."