225067

Joke of the Day

"[Christmas] 6:30kids are excited 7:30kids are playing 8:00kids are fighting 9:00kids are crying 9:15wife is yelling 9:30I am drinking"

"What do you call a fire on the beach? Bernie Sanders"

"What did the manager say to the comedian who was messing around? Hey, no more funny business!"

"You guys hear about the new Lebron James phone? It only vibrates, it doesn't have a ring."

"There was a professional hockey player that had to go to an away game, but he couldn't take his dog along with him. He got 2 minutes for boarding."

"I've been reading a book on North African History It's very moorish."

"What do you say to the Montana barista when they overfill your chamomile? Beautiful"

"Why is Oklahoma so windy? Because Texas sucks and Kansas blows!"

"Thor, the god of Thunder, was riding on his filly ""I'm Thor!"" he cried. The horse replied, ""Then uthe a thaddle, thilly!"""

"If the actor who plays Wolverine were to reveal that he's been a con-artist his entire life.... Would that mean this has all been a huge act, man?"