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Joke of the Day
"A Catholic priest comes in a bar...... on a 5 year old boy's face."
Next Joke
"What is an assassin's favorite element? What is an assassin's favorite elem- Surprise! (it is much better when spoken, but I'm proud of it)"
"I think that the NSA is after me Because I'm Snowden after this blizzard"
"Why does it smell so bad in Russia? Everybody loves Putin!"
"A Febreze commercial but with pot head teenagers trying not to get busted by their parents that had just walked in the house."
"me: I'm tired Medieval Physician: Ok I'm gonna cut you open to drain your blood me: Maybe I could rest MP: haha no I'm cutting your veins"
"[Star Wars spoiler] What did Han.... Tell Leia after they separated? ----- *May Divorce be with you.*"
"COP: You're allowed 1 phone call ME: I'm gonna call your mom & tell on you for arresting me COP: *nervously sweating* Why would you do that"
"What did the cookie farmer say? ""I've been raisin' cookies."""
"Where do birds meet for coffee ? In a nest-cafe !"