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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a brown noser and a shit head? Depth perception."

"So you know how you don't dream when you smoke weed? What if MLK smoked?"

"I have a ""Knock Knock"" joke but you have to start it off."

"What bill is the Congress's favorite? Of course the $ bill!"

"There is no ""I"" in ""team."" But there's an ""I"" in ""Tim,"" and my friend Carlos pronounces it ""team"" so....there"

"We saw a sign yesterday that said... No wonder your muffler is tired. It's EXHAUSTED !!!"

"Facebook keeps asking me, ""What's on your mind?"", it's like dating someone with low self-esteem."

"Woo hoo, July 4th wknd! Popped opened a beer, unbottoned my pants, put my feet up. My boss keeps looking at me weird, though."

"Honestly, I think Bernie Sanders is just angry about email in general. #DemDebate"

"A man is walking around a costume party dressed in green with a woman on his shoulder When asked what he was he said he was a tortoise. Then when asked about the woman he replied ""she's Michelle""."