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Joke of the Day

"My husband told me I was beautiful for the first time tonight Sure, he was drunk and using a Scooby Doo voice but I'll take it"

"Customer: I'd like to try on that bathing suit in your front window. Saleswoman: I'm sorry, ma'am, but you'll have to use the dressing room."

"9/10 people believe that... Out of every 10 people, 1 person will always disagree with the other 9. -Colin Mochrie"

"If your going to be two faced at least make one of them pretty."

"I don't worry about Friday the 13th. It's bad luck to be superstitious."

"I once walked out of a movie because the actor's fake typing was so bad."

"Why does Gordon Ramsay always use a condom? Because he should not be FUCKING RAAWWW!!"

"Interviewer: What's your strength? Candidate: I fall in love easily. Interviewer: What's your weakness? Candidate: Those blue eyes of yours."

"Hey you with the Uggs, Michael Kors bag, iPhone, scarf and super excited voice.. *70 million white women turn around*"

"I told my girlfriend to make a sextape together. She agreed. It became a vine"