224699

Joke of the Day

"Anyone know how to fix a guardian angel, I think mine is broken."

"HR: And what would you say is a weakness of yours? Me: Lindt truffles. HR: Me: Dr. Pepper. HR: Me: Redheads....? *winks* HR: Get out."

"I won a contest to go trick or treating with Arnold Schwarzenegger this year. Wad thinking of going as Beethoven. He'll be Bach."

"It's weird that 'coward' doesn't mean ""towards a cow"". *sips wine*"

"I'm kinda scrawny, so I had to quit my job as a personal trainer Yeah, I gave 'em my too weak notice"

"Did you hear about the lawyer selling moonshine from a van outside the courthouse? He was disbarred."

"I'm reenacting the War of 1812 with 47 gummy bears so I think the Ambien has finally kicked in. Casualties have been immense... & delicious"

"Good friends don't let you do dumb things... alone."

"Did you hear about the constipated accountant? He just couldn't ""budge-it""."

"I'm not saying I'm bilingual but if you shout at me in German I'll probably do whatever you want"