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Joke of the Day

"All the liberals want to move to Canada... What's wrong with Mexico, you racist fucks?"

"Your mama's so stupid She killed herself for life insurance"

"Karma Chameleon is my favorite song about lizards getting what's coming to them"

"The best way to keep your new iPhone from getting stolen is to have a case on it that makes it look like a Blackberry."

"A sad dad joke A woman is at her father's deathbed. She hasn't seen him in years and now they only have a few moments left. ""Dad, I'm sorry,"" she whispers. ""Goodbye, Sorry,"" he says, ""*I'm dead*."""

"What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW? A porcupine has the pricks on the outside!"

"How do women defy the laws of physics? The heavier they are, the easier to pick up!"

"I've always wondered why Rolf Harris never played any string instruments But I guess he figured out other ways to finger a minor"

"Me: promise you won't show anyone? Him: promise *sends pics H: that's pics of fruit snacks M: you said you wanted pics of my goods"

"[Me]: ""I have hat-like reflexes"" [You]: Don't you mean cat-like reflexes? [Me]: *sitting on top of your head* ""Nope"""