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Joke of the Day

"I got a ticket for bandaging a cat's broken tail A cop pulled up and gave me a ticket for retailing pussy in a residential area"

"I made a false deity out of bubble wrap today I call Him Pop Idol"

"I kissed a grill once. It was pretty hot."

"Want to hear a joke about a man suffering from constipation? Tough shit."

"Roses are red violets are blue... Sugar is sweet and so are you... The roses have wilted the violets are dead Sugar is lumpy and so is your head."

"sure you can PAY for a professional photographer, OR you can just lie spread out in a field until 1 finds u and just starts taking pictures"

"Abraham Lincoln. The reason I now have to hire a dishwasher instead of buying one."

"Shredded cheese has officially been banned at grocery stores in the US. President Trump will make America grate again."

"As a muslim, I'm sick of the 9/11 jokes because my parentd died too. They just weren't in the buildings."

"Luke: Lightsabers cut through anything. Ninja: So does a samurai sword. L: But does it make a cool noise? N: *cuts off Luke's other hand*"