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Joke of the Day

"I got a ticket for bandaging a cat's broken tail A cop pulled up and gave me a ticket for retailing pussy in a residential area"

"I say ""parched"" so everyone knows I'm thirsty AND an asshole."

"I know a telegraph operator who was so bad he always had to send his messages again. He had a lot of remorse about that."

"I hate circles. They're pointless."

"Dad do you like baked apples? Yes son why? The orchard's on fire."

"What's the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws, and one is a pause at the end of a clause."

"Anyone have any sex laying around they're not using I could borrow?"

"I used to know a great joke about a boomarang... Oh well... it'll come back to me."

"Why is everyone afraid of Vladimir Putin? Because Vlad is Putin everyone in their place. I'll let myself out."

"What's big, white, and can't climb a tree? A refrigerator."