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Joke of the Day
"What do a Walrus and Tupperware have in common? They both like a tight seal"
Next Joke
"If tennis rules were chasing the ball and bringing it to your opponent without letting him have it, my dog would be the best in the world."
"Guy in Car: get out of my way idiot Guy in Crosswalk: pedestrians have the right of way Car Guy: this ain't Pedestria buddy this is America"
"What does my cat and Donald Trump have in common? Neither of them pay taxes"
"If we sneezed Windex instead of spit I bet my neighbors would be cool with me standing at their window."
"i look at my phone's 100% battery icon with the same fondness as proud parents watching their children bounce out of bed yelling ""pancakes!"""
"So I went to the zoo the other day... ... there was only one dog. It was a Shih tzu."
"What do you call it when Feminists own an independent sovereign state? A CUNTry. Yes, I'm terrible."
"A guy calls his local butchery... - Do you have chicken paws? - Yes - Do you have chicken wings? - Yes, I do - Do you have pig's head? - Sure - You must look really funny then"
"The DJ just asked me ""How low can you go..."" So I slept with his wife and took custody of his kids."