224308

Joke of the Day

"Your car won't start? Have you tried getting out of it and then getting back into it again? That usually works for my computer."

"What if you told a lie to cover up your affair, and the lie was so good that 2000 years later people were still giving each other presents?"

"There was a prison break and I saw a midget climb up the fence. As he jumped down he sneered at me, and I thought ""Well that was a little condescending."""

"Hillary Clinton has been so embarrassed about her email scandal that if elected she will bring back the secure channels of communication she used growing up... the pony express."

"What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts cost $2.00, but deer nuts are under a buck!"

"What never eats at thanks giving? A turkey. Because it's always stuffed."

"There is this guy from the Czech Republic that plays chess with his Austrian friend. Czech mate. Edit: Australian, ty unsc_luke"

"*phone rings* SATAN: Hey I bought your soul on Craigslist last week? ME: No returns SATAN: Please. It's making me sad"

"What are the similarities between fat chicks and bricks? they both get laid by mexicans"

"Why are pirates called pirates? Because they arrh."