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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull terrier? Lipstick!"

"Me and Julio At Least 500 Feet Away From the Schoolyard"

"there was a girl on tv show who was crying sayin ""i miss america"" and it was real sad until someone corected her grammar and gave her a sash"

"A Mexican and a Black are in the car. Who is driving? The Cop."

"The older I get, the more I watch Ferris Bueller and root for him to get caught."

"The divorce rate among my socks is astonishing"

"Official Pirate Week! 19/5-25/5 It seems as if we're doing pirates, so we might as well have an official pirate week. Normal jokes are ok, but also lots of Pirate themed ones. Arrrbitrary Piratejokes!"

"Who do mice worship? Cheesus. :)"

"Pretended to add my number into this obnoxious guy's phone. All I did was edit his mom's contact. Hope she likes dick pics and booty calls."

"Retweet this and you'll go to heaven. Yes, the standards are now that low."