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Joke of the Day

"Why did Billy not care who he offended while posting on the internet? Because the ends justify the memes"

"Have you read the autobiography of the guy with two functioning penises? I don't know, I thought he came across as two cocky."

"Stopped to put air in my tires today. The pump cost $1.50! I remember when those things used to only cost 25 cents. Guess the price has adjusted for inflation."

"What do you call an awkward questioner? I don't KNOW, that's why I **asked** you. God."

"If women think all men are the same, then why do they worry so much about picking the right one."

"HILLARY: i'm sick and tired of these baseless accusations THE MEDIA: aha! you see?! she admits it! not only is she sick, she's also tired!"

"If you talk a lot about ""networking"" you're the kind of person that nobody wants to network with."

"A man asked a genie for a twelve-inch prick. He got a little man who ran up and down the bar kicking over drinks."

"I'm so broke that if my girlfriend leaves me for another guy I swear that I'm going with them."

"[NSFW] What did one tampon say to the other? Nothing. They were both stuck up cunts"