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Joke of the Day
"If you get cold, just stand in a corner for a little bit. They're usually 90 degrees."
Next Joke
"WTF VAMPIRE BATS WILL VOMIT BLOOD INTO MOUTHS OF SICK BATS 2 KEEP THEM ALIVE THATS DOPE AF & STILL A BETTER LOVESTORY THAN TWILIGHT"
"Guys we should stop saying these Mexican jokes... (To be said after few Mexican jokes) We're crossing the border"
"My wife's cooking is incredible! With a silent 'cr'"
"Why did the scarecrow win the Nobel prize? He was outstanding in his field."
"DISH FATHER: You can NEVER see that spoon again! *daughter dish starts sobbing* [outside the window, Spoon is thinking] we leave tonight"
"I was going to say a joke about Sodium. . But Na."
"Life is what happens when you're busy choosing a filter for what already happened in life."
"I quit my job and handed in my badge and gun to my boss, he said, why do you have a gun? You work at McDonald's."
"If goldfish crackers actually tasted like goldfish-- wait, I just realized I've never tasted a goldfish. What if the crackers are accurate?"