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Joke of the Day

"I've decided to shave off my eyebrows and draw them in. It's pretty cool, except when I have to redraw them to show somebody I'm angry."

"Son, always wait 30 minutes after eating before swimming ""But dad we're goldfish"" Oh yeah, I forgot ""Forgot what?"""

"How do you hit 20 flies in one shot? Hit an Ethiopian in the head with a frying pan."

"I've always wanted to meet a Syrian ... That's why I'm travelling to Germany next year."

"Why don't ghosts have kids? Because they have Hollow-Weinies"

"My uncle is a toilet inspector. He's seen some shit."

"I wish I was poplar. No, that's not a typo. I wish I was a tree."

"What did the owl say to the squirrel? Nothing. Because owls don't talk. Then it ate the squirrel, because owls are birds of prey."

"Why did Sepp Blatter resign from the FIFA president position? He just couldn't hold it any longer."

"Yoda: In the Light Side, the real power is. Luke: The Emperor controls the galaxy. You live in a swamp."