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Joke of the Day

"Why is it so tough to please girls? They take classes on mass debating."

"It's such a lovely day, even the flowers are singing! Flowers: THE SINS OF OUR FOREFATHERS BIND US TO THE DIRT"

"[on phone with mom] SHE SAID YES!!!! ""congrats, son"" I asked her if she thought I was weird ""Wait what?"" She thinks I'm weird. We broke up"

"Recently I felt Funny and came over Queasy... At which point I was told to leave the local theatre adaption of Snow White and the Seven Dwarves."

"My Friend is too smart My Friend said that Onion is the only food that can make You cry. I threw a Coconut at his nose. I know I am smart :D."

"What's the difference between a cat and a comma One has claws on it's paws. The other is a pause in a clause."

"The three magic words EVERY woman loves to hear, ""You were right."""

"Why did god give women yeast infections? So they know what it is like to live with an irritating cunt. Zing!"

"Q: How many blondes does it take to play Hide and Seek? A: One."

"My driver's license says I'm an organ donor but jokes on them because I have a piano."