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Joke of the Day

"How do you call blue cow? Freak.."

"I told my ex she was cross between a rare coin and female dog. A two faced bitch."

"COWORKER: how old is our boss? ME: cut him in half & count the rings CW: doesn't that only work on trees? ME: *over chainsaw noises* HE'S 38"

"Did you hear that Trump is getting penis enlargement surgery? It's gonna be yuge."

"12 YEAR OLD: I wrote a movie script called Suicide Squad but it's bad *throws in trash* HOLLYWOOD PRODUCER: *walks by trash* Hey what's this"

"holy shit imagine a crab bringing you breakfast on a tray like a lil waiter"

"I'd sit on Ellen Pao's face... ... Just so I wouldn't have to look at it."

"In a parallel universe, a group of sentient guitars groan as one guitar gets out a human at a party."

"I dont get laid nearly enough for someone who can name five different types of pokemon."

"to my beautiful son i leave a wealth of valuable golden coins, sprinkled throughout super mario 3d world, redeemable for extra in-game lives"