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Joke of the Day

"I'm old enough to remember when a car on the back of a tow truck meant a transmission problem rather than repossession problem."

"Her: You have selective hearing. You never hear criticism and only hear things that make you look good. Me: Thanks, you look good too."

"If at first you don't succeed... ...keep on sucking until you suck seed."

"""Always wear a pretty bra. The worst case is nobody sees it."" ~ Not an old Irish proverb"

"Why did the bacteria cross the microscope? To get to the other slide! Courtesy of one of my Biology students"

"My motto is ""Grab Life by the Balls."" As you might imagine, being dyslexic, I spend a lot of time apologizing to guys named ""Leif."""

"""Remember six seconds ago when you were comfortable?"" - oscillating fans"

"Why do cowboys prefer wienie dogs? So they can get a long little doggie."

"Every time I have a salad for lunch my stomach feels the same way a dog does when someone fake throws a tennis ball."

"What animal is best at hitting a baseball? A bat!"