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Joke of the Day

"On a positive note, once Trump becomes president and burns the world to the ground, our student loan debt is essentially wiped clean"

"My girlfriend just text me that she really hates periods... I told her without them, life would just be one long run-on-sentence"

"Taking my dog to the park is the same as my checking Reddit... We check out all the posts and piss on half of them."

"What do Philadelphia Eagles fans do after they win the superbowl? Turn of madden and go to bed. (I'm an eagles fan)"

"What's the one thing Spider-man can't eat? Uncle bens rice"

"Tarzan's Marriage Why didn't Tarzan and Jane manage to save their marriage? Because Tarzan was swingin' from three to three."

"What's one of the worst things you can come across when surfing the web? Your keyboard"

"Robot Nerves Why are robots never afraid? Because they have nerves of steel"

"My 5 year old daughter wants a Tampon for Christmas She has no idea what it is, but she knows what you can do with it. Swim, ride, hike, dance, play tennis, ..."

"I'm the cat whisperer. because I whisper, ""I could kill you with my bare hands"" to them daily."