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Joke of the Day

"Before you judge a woman, walk a mile in her shoes. After that who cares? She's a mile away and you've got her shoes."

"Me: So you're an Atheist? Him: Yup! Me: So what year is it? Him: 2015 Me: based on how years are counted after a certain birth?"

"A logician just had a baby Her friends ask her: ""A boy or a girl?"" She replies: ""Yes"""

"A Dad's Advice A dad is giving his son some advice one day. The dad says, ""Son, don't masturbate too much or you'll go blind."" The son replies, ""Dad, I'm over here."""

"Donald Trump is what happens when a YouTube commenter makes a billion dollars."

"Computer: Login failed. Did you forget your password? Me: oh shi-- [Cut to my password waiting alone on the side of a soccer field]"

"If only plastic surgeons also sold class."

"How did the scientist like his guacamole? With lots of Avogadro!"

"I'm straight, but I'm not ""wouldn't spoon with George Clooney"" straight."

"I picked up a tub of ice cream and a tub of light ice cream They weighed the same."