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Joke of the Day

"When I get fired, I assume they are going to show me a hidden-camera montage of me flipping off my boss and customers behind their backs."

"What do hot cups of coffee and crazy women have in common? You shouldn't stick your dick in it, and you always regret it when you do."

"What did the child with no arms get for Christmas? Gloves. Just kidding, he hasn't opened it yet."

"Why did the Tumblr user get cut up on Halloween? She identified as pump-kin."

"What is green, and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels."

"Broke Last night, a burglar broke into my flat looking for some money. I woke up and went with him to join him in the search."

"My son asked me what it's like to be a parent so I woke him up at 3 a.m. to let him know that I couldn't sleep."

"I thought the recipe was for making margarine, however, it churned out to be butter."

"what do you call a cow without legs Disabled"

"The Holacust isn't funny my grandfather died in one of those camps he fell off his guard tower"