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Joke of the Day

"Why doesn't Santa Claus have any children? Because he only comes once a year, and when he does, its down the chimney."

"What do you get when you breed a Shih Tzu with a Poodle? A shit poo"

"saying monkeys r ur favorite animal is basically saying u like a shorter, hairier version of urself who can only communicate by screaming"

"Did you hear One Direction is breaking up? They're heading separate ways."

"I have a pen pal in North Korea I asked him what's it like there. ""I can't complain"" he wrote back."

"When a lady leaves an article of clothing at my place, I do the gentlemanly thing and put it on and parade around the house looking pretty."

"Some pigs are born with two vaginas. It's true, ask your mom."

"I wanna go out I wanna come in I wanna go out I wanna come in I wanna go out I wanna come in -My dog, all day long."

"What do you say if you're testing a new firearm? ""I'll take a shot"""

"I had phone sex for the first time the other day... My dick got stuck in the 8! I tried to dial 911 but that just made it worse! It was a rotary!"