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Joke of the Day

"Why does a Jew moan when he has an orgasm? Because it has to come from his own sack (Joke might work better in Dutch, where 'zak' means both sack and pocket)"

"I was hoping to lose weight when I quit drinking, but it turns out that's not how pregnancy works."

"People need to stop asking me about my 5 year outlook I don't have 2020 vision"

"Isn't it fun how many different shapes pasta can be? My wife left me last night."

"[Gameshow] Host: ""You are one question away from our grand prize. How do you feel?"" Me: ""With my hands."" Host: ""Correct!"" *crowd goes nuts*"

"*ties husband's hands to headboard* *turns out lights* *opens laptop* ""Welcome to my PowerPoint presentation 'Curtains: How About These?'"""

"A man walks into a gay bar.......... The bartender asks ""Would you like me to push in your stool?"""

"Overheard: ""Hey, I think that weirdo is listening to our conversation."""

"The problem with millennials is they were taught to look up to Pokemon not *struggles to think of a thing old people respect* Mussolini"

"I work out So my relationships dont have to"