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Joke of the Day
"Q. What do most men consider a gourmet restaurant? A. Any place without a drive-up window."
Next Joke
"Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over? Me: Because my tires look like donuts? Cop: Get out"
"Just saw a license plate that said ""LUV SLUG."" I hope it shrivels up when they salt the roads in the winter."
"I always felt suicidal.. because I'm hanging on by a thread"
"Why is women's soccer so boring? Because all the good female athletes play in men's leagues. Thank you, thank you."
"[At crime scene] Detective: You need to take this seriously Me: I am *picks up leg bone* Me: I found this humerus. Lol. D: You're fired."
"What do you call a bear with no teeth? *A gummy bear.*"
"Boss: You're fired Me: No YOU'RE fired Boss: No Me: Yeah Boss: *starts sweating*"
"When my boss is in town, I set out pictures of kids on my desk. They aren't my kids but he'd never fire a Mom of seven, right?"
"Russian History in five words ...And then things got worse."