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Joke of the Day

"Q. What do most men consider a gourmet restaurant? A. Any place without a drive-up window."

"How many redditors does it take to repost a joke? About four."

"What lurks in the dark, has wings and sucks blood? The new Always Ultra."

"People who ignore your texts are probably just busy looking at pictures of you. Keep trying. It's not weird"

"I like my beer like I like me sex slaves..... Imported"

"What's a poops favorite color? Turdquoise"

"Dear Abby, I want to run over my neighbor with my SUV. How can I do that without raising my insurance rates?"

"What's fun about having sex with twenty-one year olds? You know, there is twenty of them"

"*throws phone over courthouse metal detector. catches phone on the other side. resumes conversation*"

"I thought about going outside and doing something today but my Wi-Fi really doesn't reach very far."